Fan Mail
Danny - I have 2 questions.
1. Was the Miss Noonan Now Pageant for real? When was it? Why didn't we know about it? So what happens now.
2. What's up with the website not being updated recently.
Sincerely,
Questions
Dear Questions,
First of all.. that was 4 questions, but I'll answer them.
1. Yes, the Miss Noonan Now Pageant was for real. Did you not go to the Meet & Greet? We just have a different way of doing this at the Noonan Now show. It was held 2 weeks ago and you didn't hear about it because it sold out before we could even announce tickets. Fortunately for you there was 2 weeks worth of episodes of the pageant, so you should have had your fill by now.
2. The website hasn't been updated recently because the webdesigner has turned into a super celebrity from her appearances on the show. I have had to increase her pay just so she would finally get back to doing the updates. But in her defense, she's been working on some pretty cool stuff... She just put up the new Noonan Tool Rental site as well as working on some Prom Catalog that is a national thing... But I'll try to keep her in line from now on.
Sincerely,
Danny
Dear Danny,
I just want to thank you! You have changed my LIFE! I just moved here
a month ago and for the past 3 years I have suffered from insomnia. It's
been very hard on me and my family. Tonight I caught Noonan Now on tv!
The segment where you showed a clip from the first show was truly the
answer to my prayers! I almost immediately FELL ASLEEP for the first time
in I can't remember how long! My husband quickly jumped up and popped
a tape in to record it. Now whenever I want to fall asleep I can
just watch that show and BAM! Asleep in no time! Thank you again!
Sincerely,
Asleep at last
Dear Asleep at last,
Gee, um I don't know what to say. Your welcome I guess. I thought my first
show was pretty good, but whatever works for you. Hope the newer episodes
don't have the same effect!
Anyway... sleep well.
Danny
Danny,
What the *&^$ is wrong with you?? I usually let my *&^$#@% kids watch
your show and to my amazement you were cussing like a *&^$#@% sailor!!
What's all that (%*@ about? What am I supposed to tell my whiny @$$ kids
when I tell them they can't watch next weeks show? This is just utter &^!!
(%*@. I hope you &+^ *^ )^&$ =-( -+_^* (*) %&(. And I mean that!
Un-*&^$#@%-believable.
Dear Un-*&^$#@%-believable,
Get over it. Seriously. *&^$ you and the horse you rode in on!
Sincerely,
Danny
My Dearest Danny,
I think you need a co-host...Your show
is awesome, but, you need someone to play
off of...I've always wanted
to get into broadcasting and think I would make a GREAT addition to
you and your team!! We
could bat things back and forth and have a
REALLY fun time. The least
you
could do was try it and see if the ratings went up, (which I
know they would).
We would have a chemistry that would make for GREAT TV!!! Let's try it!!!
Sincerely,
Your adoring fan
Dear Adoring Fan,
My name is John C. Attwater Esq. from the law offices of Attwater, Cohan
& Associates. I am responding on behalf of my client Daniel "Danny" Beck
of Newnan, GA.
Plaintiff, State of Georgia, has filed his Original Petition in this cause
seeking a Temporary and Permanent Injunction against Defendant who shall
be referred to as "Adoring
Fan" and in the same petition has presented its
request for a Restraining Order in particular: Personal Conduct Order
as well as a Stay-Away Order. Plaintiff request the Defendant be required
to keep 600 yards in distance from him at all times.
Plaintiff also requests
the Defendant be restricted from the following activities: Contacting;
Sending any message (including email); Molesting; Attacking; Striking;
Stalking; Threatening; Sexually assaulting; Battering; Harassing; Telephoning;
Destroying personal property; or Disturbing the peace of the Plaintiff.
Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
John C. Attwater Esq.
Hey Danny.
The website ROCKS! I love it. The show ROCKS also. My wife and I have really
enjoy watching the show..makes the bad days that much more tolerable. We
want to come to a taping. How do we do that? I'm dying for a T-shirt.
Where can I find one? Thanks for the info and keep up the GREAT job!
Sean and Beth
Dear Sean and Beth,
You guys ROCK! Thanks for thinking the website ROCKS! I'm so glad you think
the show ROCKS too! Unfortunately, the show is pretty much sold out for
the next year and a half. You can call 770-908-7383 to be put on the
waiting list. T-shirts are available at Scott's Bookstore and the Newnan
Pawn Shop. I'm always happy to make someone's day!
Sincerely,
Danny
Dear Danny,
Good work on the website. I wanted to apologize for
not responding to the Newnan Utilities programming survey. I wouldn't take
it personally that the show came in dead last. I think the Noonan Now
demographic is less likely than average to waste time on surveys.
Sincerely,
Justin
Justin,
I totally agree! Surveys are HIGHLY overrated. Statistics actually show that
3 out of 5 people don't like taking surveys, and when handed a survey 78%
of people will throw them away. At first I didn't believe these statistics,
so I took a survey myself. When asked out of 340 people, 84% of people said
they would never answer a survey question even if they were paid while 9%
said that they have never taken a survey in their lives and never will.
I guess you are right Justin. Thanks for making me feel better!
Sincerely,
Danny Beck
Um, yeah. I have no idea what that says...
Sincerely,
Danny
Hey Danny,
Come bail me out of jail - they wont show me the newest episode of Noonan
Now and some wack-o keeps trying to convince me he IS the
largest meth distributor. Oh, and bring some of those awesome
brownies you make (wink
wink
nudge nudge).
Sean Paul
Sean,
I told you not to mention my "brownies"... you are going to get me in trouble!
I'll see ya in a few.
Danny
